Every once in a while, in an attempt to better understand what happened to Felix, I google his situation. “Amniotic bands and cleft” I typed in a couple of nights ago. I came across an article I hadn’t read before on widesmiles.org.
“Constriction Band Syndrome is, in fact, the result of a pre-birth accident. It happens when, for some reason or another, there is a rupture in the amniotic sac during pregnancy. The Amniotic sac then falls away. Most often, under those circumstances, the fetus will spontaneously abort and the pregnancy ends in miscarriage. However, there are cases in which, against all odds, the fetus continues to develop without the protection of the amniotic sac.“
I had always known we were lucky. His injuries, for lack of a better word, are not that severe. He will likely have almost unrestricted use of his hands and his lip is looking better every day. But until I read that, it never really hit me how lucky we are that Felix is with us. “…against all odds,” it says. The whole pregnancy was an odds breaker, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but I was. None of the many, many, many (many,many!) doctors I spoke to in the few days after Felix was born mentioned it to me, that Felix is an uber-miracle. Almost 8 months later, I’m finally fully aware of how insanely amazing he is. And I already thought he was pretty insanely amazing.
The best part about this discovery is that, for the first time since my 20 week ultrasound, I’m not angry about what happened. And I don’t feel sorry for Felix or for myself. Overwhelming gratitude and awe.