bethysmalls

I feel it bears repeating for those of you who think that people who want to get guns and shoot people so badly don’t care about laws and will do anything, even illegal things, to accomplish their wicked ways. MOST GUNS USED IN THESE AWFUL EVENTS WERE PURCHASED LEGALLY. They didn’t even have to be subversive, sneaky or even criminal.

FTR, I realize that our right to a well-regulated militia and to bear arms means people should be allowed to protect themselves and to hunt and what not. I don’t think that those rights mean that ANYONE who can fill out a form and wait a few days should have access to machine guns whose only purpose is kill many people in a short amount of time.

Maybe if people who are unstable or in crisis had a few more roadblocks in their way when tragedy or the tipping point strikes, there could be fewer casualties or, God-willing, none at all.

I think our country needs better gun control. I think there should be no assault weapons for sale. I think there should be a limit on how many bullets in a magazine. I even think there should be an age limit and a limit on the number of guns one person can have registered.

For those of you who think I’m an “Idiot” or a “Dumbass” for feeling this way, I don’t know what to tell you. I hope we can still be friends and that you can respond to this in a civil way.

For those of you who think that our country doesn’t have a gun control problem but rather an “access to mental health care” problem, I agree with you half way. I think we have both. I also think this country has the ability and the responsibility to rectify both.

Dumbass out.

Lately I have encountered a problem with the kids. They are both great, mind you. Felix is thisclose to figuring out walking. Bruno is probably a genius and might even use his powers for good most of the time. The problem is this: Felix is doing awesome things more often than Bruno does so Bruno has finally discovered jealousy. Picture my living room. Felix stands up, and this doesn’t happen often, so we clap and say “Yay Felix!” Bruno starts cheering, too, and then runs over to Felix to give a congratulatory hug and kiss… which is not all together helpful to a person who can barely stand, but it gets the attention back on Bruno. Or in response to the same thing, Bruno stands on one foot and says, “Hey look!” And them I’m forced to acknowledge Bruno’s cool trick but I never do it with the same enthusiasm that I’ve given Felix’s. And let’s face it, I shouldn’t anyway.

I praise Bruno. I do it all the time! When he creates amazing pictures of animals, when he shares nicely with his brother, when he cleans up his toys I always tell him how nice it was or how proud I am and how happy he makes me. He still wants more, it seems.

On the other hand, I feel like when I’m not praising Bruno, I am constantly correcting him, mostly in order to protect the toddler.

“Don’t grab his face!”

“Don’t come in the kitchen because he’ll follow you!”

“Don’t tickle so hard!”

“Don’t pull his arm!”

“Don’t try to pick him up!”

“Don’t take that toy away from him!”

“Let him play with the baby toys!”

“Don’t put that toy in his face!”

“Stop screeching at him!” Etc, etc, etc.

I don’t want Bruno to feel constantly chided. I don’t want him to feel like he’s always doing something wrong. He just doesn’t seem to understand that he needs to be a little gentler with Felix and that we still think he’s amazing, too.

Is there a children’s book for that?

Felix’s birthday celebration today! If anyone on the webz wants to make a donation in honor of Felix’s first year, may I suggest these fine organizations?

Operation Smile
Cleft Advocate
The Cleft Palate Foundation

Thanks to everyone for supporting my family and me through my pregnancy and Felix’s first year. Our friends online have done so much to keep me afloat during the hardest parts of this journey. I don’t know how people kept their spirits up before social media!

You’re the best kinds of people, you are. Thanks again.

Happy birthday, baby boy!

This was the best, hardest, scariest day ever. I’m so glad we got THIS baby and that he’s changed my life and my heart so completely. He’s so brave and so sweet and like his dad in so many ways. He still hardly ever fusses or cries. He can tell me he wants to get down from his high chair, he can tell me he wants a banana. He can fall asleep on his own and drink from a sippy cup. He pats me on the back when I burp him and he shakes his head/whole body when I say, “No, no!” He claps and dances and pinches my arm fat while he’s nursing. He smiles a me and makes me forget all the things in my life that are frustrating or unfair. He laughs at his brother even when his brother is being naughty. He’ll feed you a piece of pasta or a cheerio when he’s had enough to eat. He can say mama and dada and uh oh but he mostly doesn’t say much, like his dad.

Love you, buddy! I’m so glad you’re my kid. xox

My sister and I have just finished trading “Call Me Maybe” lyrics on gchat.
Me: I’m not at all embarrassed that I love her.
Sam: Agreed!
Me: I’m not even jealous that she got to hang out with Jimmy Fallon and The Roots.
Sam: That’s real love.
Me: I mean, I’m jealous, but I don’t begrudge her.
Sam: Totally.

I’m back in my pre-pregnancy jeans, legitimately, with no muffin top to speak of. Nothing like infant surgery, an ER visit to replace a wayward cast, a second ER visit to replace a second wayward cast and the new found mobility of said bandaged and cast-ed infant to cause the anxiety related weight loss that helped me achieve this milestone.

Felix is currently recovering nicely from surgery. This was his second and focused on his right hand and right foot, specifically fingers 2, 3 & 4 and toes 1 and 3.  Wee baby Felix chose the week preceding to figure out forward motion and has continued since his operation using his new full arm cast as a sort of peg leg. Already, we have taken a trip to CHOP’s Emergency Department to have his cast replaced once just 3 days after it was put on. He just wriggled right out of it.

Remember when your baby started becoming impossible to control/keep on his back during diaper changes? And when he suddenly couldn’t bear to have you leave his immediate vicinity? And when it became intolerable for him to be confined to any sort of seat for longer than 5 minutes? Felix has reached all of these phases since coming home from the hospital. And as I mentioned before, he has a new accessory which makes all of that just a little more nerve wracking.

When Bruno was a baby, he was in the, “Don’t leave my side!” phase almost immediately so I guess I should be thankful that Felix made it 9 months before separation anxiety set in.

I had to work on Saturday which I was initially dreading but when I got there and was BY. MY. SELF… I was secretly exhilarated. I go back again tomorrow and for the first time I’m looking forward to it. I love you, Felix, but I won’t miss you punching me in the head with your cast tomorrow.

Every once in a while, in an attempt to better understand what happened to Felix, I google his situation. “Amniotic bands and cleft” I typed in a couple of nights ago. I came across an article I hadn’t read before on widesmiles.org.

“Constriction Band Syndrome is, in fact, the result of a pre-birth accident. It happens when, for some reason or another, there is a rupture in the amniotic sac during pregnancy. The Amniotic sac then falls away. Most often, under those circumstances, the fetus will spontaneously abort and the pregnancy ends in miscarriage. However, there are cases in which, against all odds, the fetus continues to develop without the protection of the amniotic sac.“

I had always known we were lucky. His injuries, for lack of a better word, are not that severe. He will likely have almost unrestricted use of his hands and his lip is looking better every day. But until I read that, it never really hit me how lucky we are that Felix is with us. “…against all odds,” it says. The whole pregnancy was an odds breaker, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but I was. None of the many, many, many (many,many!) doctors I spoke to in the few days after Felix was born mentioned it to me, that Felix is an uber-miracle. Almost 8 months later, I’m finally fully aware of how insanely amazing he is. And I already thought he was pretty insanely amazing.

The best part about this discovery is that, for the first time since my 20 week ultrasound, I’m not angry about what happened. And I don’t feel sorry for Felix or for myself. Overwhelming gratitude and awe.

On my way upstairs to take a very sleepy and cranky baby to bed, I bumped into a picture frame that has been hanging in the same spot for at least a couple of years. Because I am a both very graceful and a brilliant decorator, this is not the first time I’ve bumped into this picture frame. It is however the first time it fell off the wall, down the steps leaving a trail of broken glass and tiny shards.

Because my 3 year old is smart and understands simple instructions I said to him, “Don’t go near the steps, please. Stay where you are.” I thought about adding, “If you need to pee, just go.” but decided not to put ideas in his head. He said, “Okay.” So I proceeded to change the baby’s diaper and prepare him for a nap. And then I hear my 3 year old say, “I’m bringing this up.” He was on the steps holding the empty frame and standing right next to two big pieces of glass. I kinda freaked and shouted, “I told you not to go near the steps!” To which he responded by screaming and STOMPING HIS FEET ON THE STEPS.

I put the baby in the crib and came downstairs to find that, miraculously, his feet were not shredded to bits but had one tiny scratch. By the time I got back upstairs, baby was… unhappy. The boy was sitting on the couch with more, shall we say, firm instructions to NOT MOVE, and I was able to finish putting the baby to bed and clean up the steps.

Hopeful that that is the most exciting 15 minutes of my day.

Updated: 2/25

Sandra Fluke testimony

Elizabeth Banks blog post

Sarah Fister Gale -Rh

Anatomy of an Unsafe Abortion

I’ll update as I come across more reasons that Rick Santorum has no idea what he’s talking about. Surely Catholics/Christians don’t want babies to die, desperate women to bleed out or illnesses to go untreated resulting in severe health complications. I think leave women’s health to women and their doctors, Senator. You’re laughably unqualified to even have an opinion.